As I cast my critical eye on our current political deadlock, I can’t help but wonder if both parties could learn some valuable lesson from the Star Trek universe.
The Republicans could do well to look at the Klingons, a violent, blustering race obsessed with victory, empire, and the length of their man-parts. They swagger through the galaxy reeking of hubris and vodka (or so I imagine), breaking out the bat’leth at any hint of an insult to their honor or the rigidity of their forehead creases. Clearly these are a people suffering from a low self-image due to the lack of a nurturing father-figure, as well as a need to exert force onto their world as a compensation for earlier feelings of humiliation and powerlessness. Their dependence on violence actually leads to the weakening of their empire, and prevents any meaningful progress in social areas.
On the other hand, Klingon women are generally superior in bed.
Meanwhile, the Democrats, like the Federation, are a group of ineffectual fairie-men, lacking the balls to stand up for their lofty ideals. They sit there engaging in petty dialogue and noble entreaties while the Klingon Cruiser lobs 4 proton torpedoes into their forward weapon banks. By the time they’ve decided to take a militant stance, they have already been incapacitated by the harsh Rovian attacks of the enemy. And while we all admire the skill with which the savvy and sophisticated Picard and the logical yet intuitive Data manage to extricate themselves from the situation, they never should have been there in the first place.
So we have the Klingons provoking a conflict with both the Cardassians and the Federation, which only results in massive casualties, while leaving all parties exposed to the immanent threat of the Jem-Hadar (Global Warming). And the Romulans are just sitting there playing us against each other. And so the Euro’s now worth $1.70. Damn.
The Republicans could do well to look at the Klingons, a violent, blustering race obsessed with victory, empire, and the length of their man-parts. They swagger through the galaxy reeking of hubris and vodka (or so I imagine), breaking out the bat’leth at any hint of an insult to their honor or the rigidity of their forehead creases. Clearly these are a people suffering from a low self-image due to the lack of a nurturing father-figure, as well as a need to exert force onto their world as a compensation for earlier feelings of humiliation and powerlessness. Their dependence on violence actually leads to the weakening of their empire, and prevents any meaningful progress in social areas.
On the other hand, Klingon women are generally superior in bed.
Meanwhile, the Democrats, like the Federation, are a group of ineffectual fairie-men, lacking the balls to stand up for their lofty ideals. They sit there engaging in petty dialogue and noble entreaties while the Klingon Cruiser lobs 4 proton torpedoes into their forward weapon banks. By the time they’ve decided to take a militant stance, they have already been incapacitated by the harsh Rovian attacks of the enemy. And while we all admire the skill with which the savvy and sophisticated Picard and the logical yet intuitive Data manage to extricate themselves from the situation, they never should have been there in the first place.
So we have the Klingons provoking a conflict with both the Cardassians and the Federation, which only results in massive casualties, while leaving all parties exposed to the immanent threat of the Jem-Hadar (Global Warming). And the Romulans are just sitting there playing us against each other. And so the Euro’s now worth $1.70. Damn.
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